Skirts, Veils, and Catholic Feminism

I remember when I first made the personal decision to never wear pants into a Catholic Church again - whether for Mass, or just for prayer.  Obviously there are instances where I don't necessarily have a choice...I mean, if it's go to Mass in pants, or don't go at all, I would definitely just wear the pants.  But, as a general rule, I make the effort to wear a skirt or dress - even if I don't feel like it.  I don't remember the exact date, but it was probably about 2 years ago, and I was going on a silent, weekend retreat.  There is a sign on the Chapel at the retreat center that says "Please no shorts in chapel".  It was rare that I would wear shorts to Church (at least not since I came back to my Faith as an adult), but I almost always wore dress pants, the occasional skirt, and rarely dresses (due to nursing babies).  But, before going on that retreat, I decided that I would pack only skirts and a dress for Sunday Mass.  My reasoning was two-fold.  1. it was a weekend that was to be devoted to Christ, so I thought it would help if I gave him the best of my whole self...not just the focus of my mind through prayer, but in the way I dressed as well.  And, 2. it was a weekend away from the kids, so I knew I would have the time to primp and pamper myself (you know, actually shower more than one day in a row, fix my hair, and wear a little makeup) without worrying about my nice clothes getting chewed up food on them, or other unpleasant baby goo on them!  The only non-dress clothes I packed were my pajamas and running shorts - so I wouldn't be tempted to opt out of my skirts for the weekend.  You see, I am a big creature of comfort.  So,  while I love the idea of wearing cute, modest, and feminine skirts to the grocery store, it is more of a struggle to actually implement it.  I walk into my closet, and those soft, faded, blue jeans and familiar, old T-shirts just call out my name, and I can't resist!  And, being that I don't have an out of the home job, it's easy to just fall into that trap.  But, ever since that weekend, I started wearing only skirts and dresses to Mass - no more dress pants.  It is just a small sacrifice and witness to womanhood.  I am a woman, and I am feminine, so why not dress that way??  Modestly, of course.  Skimpy clothes is a distorted version of feminism.  Plus, I think Phil likes to see me dress feminine more often.  And, since I made the switch for Mass, I've found that I enjoy wearing skirts more around the house, and when we go out.  I hardly do it every day, because it's not always practical with kids, and I just don't feel like it.  But, it's nice that I have gotten more comfortable with my femininity.  I was never really a girly-girl growing up - I don't think I wore make-up until I got to college, and even now I only wear it for Sunday Mass and special occasions...I just don't like to bother with the stuff on a regular basis.  If I look washed our and tired, oh well!  But, now, maybe once or twice a week, I'll wear a skirt...just because I'm a girl!  Who knows...maybe one day I'll switch over and be an exclusive skirt-wearer, but probably not.  And, there's also a difference between being feminine and being a high-maintenance, movie-star-type woman.  Feminine I can handle...high-maintenance, I can not!  And, I'm pretty sure neither can my husband. It's weird how just the way you dress can make you more aware of who you are as a person.  Once I started wearing skirts more, it really made me think more about what it means to be a woman, especially a Catholic woman.  Where does Catholic feminism really fit in my life?  What does it mean for me to be a Catholic wife and mother?  I'm still working on figuring all that out, but the journey sure is interesting!  Which brings me to another topic:  Chapel Veils....

To veil or not to veil?  That is the question.  I've mentioned several times that our family started attending the Traditional Latin Mass recently.  And, actually, the word 'recently' probably no longer applies...it will be a year this June that we began attending the TLM on a regular basis.  Not long after we began going to that Mass, I noticed a handful of chapel veils dotted throughout the congregation.  I was initially intrigued.  Being born in the early 80's, chapel veils had all but disappeared by the time I was old enough to know what they were.  I'm not even really sure I knew that it used to be a tradition in the Church, to be honest.  I knew Our Lady wore a veil, and many of the Saints, and nuns, but that's about it.  So, when I first saw them, I was curious, and oddly attracted to the idea of wearing one.  So, I went home did some research, and decided that I liked what they represented (at least on a spiritual level...my human pride was more than a little turned off, although I did think they were pretty).  Several months after going to the TLM, I looked around at different stores that sold them, and bought one each for me and Natalie.  When they came in, we tried them on and played around with making them stay on.  Then, they sat in the van for the next two Sundays because I felt awkward.  Not only am I a creature of comfort, but I also do not like to be frowned upon.  I love human respect way too much.  What if someone made fun of me?  What if someone asked my why I was wearing this thing?  What if *gasp!*  people judged me and deemed me as a  'holier than thou' Catholic?!!?  Finally, I just swallowed my pride and wore it.  I realized that it didn't matter what other people thought about the fact that I wore a veil.  I don't wear it for them anyway...I wear it as a sign of my womanhood, of my obedience to Christ and my role as a wife, and out of respect for what is happening on the altar.  If people think I'm weird, or too traditional, so what!  That's not why I wear it, and it's not their place to decide my intentions.  These were the thoughts running through my mind as I pondered wearing this pretty, new veil.  But, you know what?  I can count on one finger the number of times that someone has asked me about my veil.  And, she was very sweet about it...it was more a curiosity thing than a judgmental thing.  And, maybe I was the one being too judgmental about other people's intentions towards me.  Most people probably don't even notice.  Now, I feel weird when I don't wear it.  In fact, it is rare that I attend Church as the only veil wearer - even at non-Latin Masses.  While I am always in the minority, there is also usually at least one or two other ladies who have one as well.  Our Lady wore one...St. Veronica used hers to wipe the face of Our Lord...so, why not wear one?? 


I realize that these are two hot-button topics among Catholic women; however, these are just my personal views on the issues.  I mean no offense to ladies who never wear veils or skirts.  For me, they are just two, small outward signs for witnessing to and being respectful of my dignity as a Catholic woman.  Because, being a woman and a Catholic are two of the most dignified gifts God has given me, and it's hard to be authentically respectful of that in the culture we live in today.  And, while there are many ways to show God that I appreciate those gifts, this is what I've chosen to show Him my appreciation for creating me as a woman and a Catholic.  So, there you have it!  Skirts, veils, and Catholic Feminism...fun stuff!


Here's a video that I discovered at the Knit Together blog on Veiling: